Playing Golf with Tiger Woods

 This weekend I said, “Happy Trails” to Kirstin and John. Will I ever see them again? Yes, but maybe not in the corporal sense. You never know what could happen.

Sometimes when people pass out of our lives, we can carry so much of them in our hearts that they will never die or go away. Other times in the mourning process, we mourn not for the person, but for ourselves; we want more of that person.

The Orange County Syndrome: “good enough, isn't good enough. I want more.”

Kirstin showed me her latest blog entry while I was at her house. I was so excited to read it on the computer that it was originally written on. It was, as everything she writes always is, a work of heartfelt beauty. Sharing writing with her is like playing golf with Tiger Woods; you feel honored, incapable and silly all the same time. If you're comfortable by being embarrassed, playing golf with Tiger Woods and sharing writing with Kirstin is the same thing.

The piece she wrote was entitled, “Celebration”. You can read it on snowbirdredux.com. It was about scattering ashes of loved ones that had passed.

 Kirstin's mother, Harriet was someone I knew. I do mourn her passing. I never really got enough of her, but that is probably more of my 'Orange County Syndrome'. If I had spent more time around Harriet, I'm sure she could have taught me the true meaning of joy. Joy is something I'm just now learning how to live with and express. I need to learn “ good enough should be good enough.”

 Kevin was Kirstin's son. I only met him a few times. It was like talking to all the exuberant witty and thoughtful parts of myself. Sometimes when you see parts of yourself in others, it makes you feel good about yourself. Other times when you meet someone with all your “less developed qualities,” you feel like a jerk. Kevin made me feel good about myself. Kevin's life on this planet was cut short, but he lives so vibrantly in the hearts of his mother and his sister, that his life is still inside of them.

I have friends and family that live in my heart too. I don't constantly mourn them because I still have so much of them that lives on inside of me. At my ripe old age, there are also people that are still alive now that I won't have to mourn too much when they die. So much of them will continue to live within me.

To effectively move through the mourning process, you need to get past the Orange County Syndrome. 'Good enough' is sometimes all you get. In the larger picture, that is all you're supposed to get. Otherwise, you don't appreciate what you had or what you have; you just want more.