Thanks for Serving and Grandma Wendy will Have to Wait

 Oscar, my new tenant wears a hat that says “Pilot Classes of 1944.” When we were in the library today, a man came up to Oscar and said, “thanks for serving.” Thank you indeed Oscar.[refer to:Oscar Framed: Hanging in Process] Oscar and I also looked at more photographs today. We were both avid photographers at one time. He was interested in seeing some of my work. So I went and got some old photos to show him. He was more interested in content, I was more interested in technique.

There were two pictures, that really sparked some memories for me. The two photographic images incorporated the use of reflections: one in the glass of a framed print, the other in a mirror. Before writing, I chronicled my life with photographs. Some were snapshots, but only some. Most of the photographs I took were carefully composed. My life would have been different if I had taken as much care with my verbal communication as I did with taking pictures.

“Sometimes you just spew things out. Not everyone wants to hear that,” is what Muse said the other day. She was right. She's usually right when it comes to her observations of me.

Back to the photos... the one in the glass of the framed print shows an image of Muse and I in the reflection of the glass. My reflection shows me adjusting the light, she is posing for the picture. It really is a good picture, a black-and-white, taken almost 30 years ago.

When my girlfriend at the time, Karlee, saw the picture of Muse and I she was a little jealous, “You don't take pictures of us like that!”

“Okay, fine. Let's take some pictures,” and I got out the equipment.

It is also a good picture 30 years later. There's a big difference between the two photographs: The first picture is of Muse and me, I'm adjusting the light/ the second picture is of Karlee and me: I'm adjusting the light, and also being a jerk. You can see this in Karlee's face in the photograph.

“Sometimes when you talk to people, you're looking for a reaction, not a connection.”

That was Muse again: dead on the money with that statement, as usual.
 Here's what I did in the second photograph a long time ago. While I was setting it up, I kept talking to Karlee about the technique I used in the photograph of Muse and myself. I was waiting for a particularly contemptuous look on Karlee's face, then I snapped the picture. Jerk. I have been a jerk lots of times in my life.

That brings us to why grandma Wendy will have to wait.[Refer to: The Esoteric Heretic]After telling Muse with much excitement and pride about my new meditation technique, she said, “Have you forgiven yourself?”

Oops, there just when my balloon. This woman never fails to blow me out of the water, shoot me out of the sky or knock me off my feet. Just as Oscar is a veteran of World War II, Muse is a veteran of the many skirmishes that I have fought with myself. Sometimes she and I have been in the foxhole together, firing side-by-side. Sometimes she was commander-in-chief of the many battles I have fought with myself.

 I always hope that I'm there for her the way she has been for me. Oscar and the Muse are veterans with purple hearts, made of pure gold.

Thanks for serving.

 Grandma Wendy will have to wait...

 I need to forgive myself and adjust more than just the lights.